Why the Book?

BOOKCOVER PIC FOR T SHIRTWho wants their best marriage? After decades of working as a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and certified life coach, Patt Hollinger Pickett, Ph.D. believes that all hands are raised on that question. Why? We value our marriages. Most of us have room for improvement, but even still, not everyone chooses to work and nurture their relationships–proactively before trouble strikes. Dr. Patt sees that times are changing.

Now “even” men care about their relationships—a “winking,” anecdotal impression reinforced by the major shift in “who” calls to make an initial appointment with Dr. Patt. While twenty years ago, it was nearly always the woman/wife/girlfriend/mother who made that first call, now it seems upward of 60% of those first appointment scheduling calls are made by men; and they are calling in at younger ages and marriage stages than historically true. With this sign of change, Dr. Patt is genuinely optimistic that the numbers of satisfying, healthy marriages will continue to grow and the divorce rate will plummet– for motivated partners.

Dr. Patt has steadily jotted down notes to record what she learned in sessions with clients. She identified that metaphors, directness, everyday talk, and her humor  (often offbeat) were successful ways to guide clients toward change options for their thinking and behavior to build better relationships. Clients accepted hard truths about themselves more readily when heard through Dr. Patt’s warm and friendly “delivery.”  Clients embraced and valued her  succinct bits of “life philosophy.” Her extensive notes were later woven into compositely true stories with insight and wisdom.

Through the years, clients have jokingly “invited” her home with them to be present to consult when “sticky situations” arose or alternately suggested that she be a “bug” in their ears to whisper steady words of wisdom during marital conflicts. Others have simply asked, “Why don’t you write a book?” Of those three “options”, Dr. Patt decided she could expand the reach of her insight and support more broadly by writing a book.

The Marriage Whisperer: Tips to Improve Your Relationship Overnight is “the book.”